Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Funeral

I have had a song echoing in my mind for the past few months. It's from the group Band of Horses. They are not a "Christian" band, but for some reason their music always resonates with me. I'm not sure what their meaning was when they wrote the song "The Funeral," but the lyrics have been haunting my thoughts, and I have since attached my own meaning to them.

I've been witnessing a funeral for the past two years. I've been slowly, painfully putting a dream to rest with God's help. As someone who is driven by dreams, changing paths was worse than torture. I followed a path, a dream, for years and was spurred on by the dream itself, by the calling God had placed on my life, by the encouragement of others, by my own sense of accomplishment.

At every occasion I'll be ready for a funeral

At every occasion once more is called a funeral

Every occasion I'm ready for the funeral

At every occasion one brilliant day funeral

Somewhere along the path, the dream ceased to be life-giving. It started to feel like a burden, like I was striving for something without knowing why. So I revisited the dream, lived in the thought of what I used to long for and realized that that life no longer seemed so glorious. I no longer wanted a life kept breathing by recognition, by being scrutinized and evaluated constantly, a life spent playing different roles.

I'm coming up only to show you down for

I'm coming up only to show you wrong

To the outside, the dead leaves, they all blow

For'e they died had trees to hang their hope

Now, as I look around at my life I see something different. Instead of long hours spent pursuing a hollow dream, I see priceless moments with the people I love. I see a life overflowing with God's love, a life that breathes goodness and beauty into it's surroundings. There is a strength, a discernment that I didn't have before. I have a God who loves me unceasingly, a husband who loves me, a family that comforts and spurs me on, the hope of dreams to come.

In the light of Christ's sacrifice, funerals have a different meaning. They symbolize a death, a burial. But more than this, they symbolize a life reborn, a life fully recognized. How else can we come face to face with our Savior but by shedding the existence we know? And as we step into that light, we leave behind the scent of death and are overcome by the brilliance of His presence. This brilliance sparks and burns away the chill, leaving us completely wrapped in His glory.

Every day, I am ready for a funeral.

I am ready to put my dreams, my hopes, my will to rest for the sake of following Christ. But as I shed those burdens, laying them to rest in the wet, black earth, I am not overcome by the sense of loss. It is certainly there, trembling at the back of my mind. But stronger still is a sense of peace. God has asked me to lay this down, but in it's place there is Hope for the future.
Every occasion I'm ready for the funeral

At every occasion one brilliant day funeral


  1. What a brave thing to look your dream in the face and accept that perhaps it isn't all that dreamy. It is exciting to wonder what dreams you are walking into by simply letting go of the lesser one. Thanks for sharing.

  2. In the Bible, Paul talks about counting all of his accomplishments as nothing, so that he can get a better understanding - a tighter grip - on his relationship with Jesus...the one thing that really matters. Your post brought that to my mind today. Thank you.

  3. i think it is so hard... to all of a sudden realize that what you have been moving towards isn't quite what you expected it to be, or need it to be. and how brave... to be able to walk away and journey down a new path...

  4. SO WELL WRITTEN! Thank you so much! I'm glad God led me to your wonderful blog!




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