Little me

(Nicki and I, circa 1998)

Little Me.

If I could talk to her now, I would have a lot to say.

Things like, "It really doesn't matter how knobby your knees are, or how bony your elbows look. Don't try to hide them in baggy clothes, it just doesn't work. Besides, being skinny is IN (no matter what your so-called friends say)!"

"No matter how hard it is to listen to your mom, remember that some day she will be your best friend."

"And that boy you have a crush on? Please just forget about him and move along. No one who has a fake, stuffed squirrel-friend named Cedric is ready for a romantic relationship at any level."

Little Me was a worried one. She constantly worried about what other people thought of her. She thought about her hair a lot, trying (and failing) to make each strand fall in place like it was army boot-camp. I would say, "Don't worry about it. Let your hair be natural and PLEASE put down the Aussie Mega-Hold spray. You have enough to think about without being a walking fire-hazard."

I would tell Little Me to spend less time trying to fit in, and spend more time discovering the ways that God made her unique. Little Me cried many bitter tears over the fact that ALL of her friends had Doc Martens and all she had were old sneakers from Target. The same friends all saw the movie Titanic 5 times each and Little Me had to fight with her parents for months until she finally got to go see it once. With her dad. Then she cried for a month following because JACK DIED. She would squeeze her eyes shut and picture his frozen face sinking into the icy depths, white hand extended as if it was reaching out to her. Apparently, Little Me was a little out of touch with reality.

If I could swing back in time, I would take Little Me out for coffee, and I would take her hands, look into her worried eyes and say,

You won't believe what is in store for you! You will graduate from the college you dream of, travel the world, sing on stages in sparkly dresses, meet so many different people.


You won't get your first kiss until you are the ripe old age of twenty-three (and it certainly won't be from someone who thinks a stuffed animal is a valid conversational partner). It will be from the man you will spend the rest of your life with (and yes, it's going to be AWESOME). You will experience more heartbreak, more fair-weather friends who drift in and out of your life. But through it all, you WILL survive, and you will become a stronger person.

If only you could see yourself at nearly Twenty-Five! You are madly in love with a man who makes you feel treasured and beautiful. You are surrounded by a family that loves and supports you. You have a network of amazing friends who only grow dearer with time. You have a job that makes you feel needed and appreciated and gives you countless opportunities. Some dreams and hopes are realized, and some new and entirely different ones are glinting on the horizon.

And best of all, the God who is there through every trial and heartbreak will never change. He will still be there, holding you together, giving you hope and peace, guiding your footsteps. And He will answer every prayer your little mouth has whispered, in ways you can't even begin to imagine.