Doppelganger

You guys, I have something so funny to show you. First, I must share a bit of a back story. I have never found a "doppelganger" for myself- you know, the actress that sort of looks like me, or just another person that other people say reminds them of me. Which is ok, I guess I'm just unique, but it is kind of fun to get an idea of what other people see when they look at you!

So the other day, my sister was over and we were having coffee together, just standing in the kitchen and chatting. I had my new JoAnne's catalogue sitting on the counter, since we were planning to go there later to get some craft supplies. Suddenly, Elsie gives a gasp and tries to grab the catalog off the counter, but it fell on the floor. I laughed because I thought she was gasping because she dropped it. But no, she was gasping because of this:

Do you see what I see? Oh look! It's me modeling some hand-knit mittens and a jaunty cap! Just kidding. It's not actually me. For those of you who don't know me well enough to see the resemblance, here's a photo that should help:

Is that not a little strange? And even a bit creepy? Somewhere out there is a JoAnne's model that looks exactly like me....

Coffee, anyone?

Wow- I keep meaning to post and then the days fly by and here it is, a few weeks since my last visit here! Motherhood is sure keeping me busy. =) However, I don't intend to let this little haven disappear completely from my life, so I hope that you, my faithful friends, will check back in once in a while!

Today, I must introduce you to the newest member of our furniture-family. It is in fact, quite possibly the best piece of furniture we own. It was made for us by my soon-to-be-brother-in-law, David. He is incredibly talented at making all sorts of things, but especially furniture and woodworking. He asked what I wanted for Christmas this year, and I jokingly said "a coffee table." And guess what? He said "ok" and actually made one for us!

Here's a view into our lovely living room- how it looks most days, complete with pump, baby toys, bumbo seat, and cat curled up under the couch (can you spot her?). But on to the reason for the photo: the coffee table. The coffee table is made from cherry wood. I love the rough-hewn look, David and Morna (my sister) used hammers to weather the wood and make it look more old. I love it! 

Of course, this new coffee table makes everything else look bad, so it kind of makes me want to make-over our living room. We'll see if that actually happens...

Mad about Cowls

Cowls are just all over the place this winter! I love them. They look cozy and yet fashionable at the same time. Plus, there are so many different styles out there that can go with just about any outfit you put together.

I've been working on crocheting a cowl for myself, but it's been so long since I last crocheted so it's taking me a while. In the meantime, I whipped one up using some soft faux-fur fabric that I had laying around.

I made it using a tutorial I found online (which of course I can't find now...). But basically it's just a long tube of fabric sewn in a circle. It's fur on both sides, for the ultimate in coziness.

If you're looking for a cowl that's already been made, I would recommend these adorable infinity cowls made by GussySews. She has several colors, at very affordable prices! I love the Moss Envy color shown below:

Or, if you are awesome with a crocheting needle, you could try your hand at making one yourself! I would recommend this pattern shown below, available at Patterns by Marianne on Etsy.

Have you jumped on the cowl train yet? Are you like me and are sure to amass an entire wardrobe of them by the time Spring has arrived?

To Pump or Not to Pump?

I debated whether or not to go into the details of my experience with nursing here on the blog, but I finally decided, what the hey! Hopefully someone out there can relate or benefit from my story, so I am happy to share it for that reason.

Starting out, it had never occurred to me that I wouldn't nurse my baby. I planned on it, took it for granted even. I made a nursing cover while I was still pregnant, bought nursing bras, and didn't think twice about it. Of course, I heard all the horror stories about the horrible things that can go wrong when you nurse, but I just figured I would stick it out and everything would be ok in the end.

Well, to make a long story short, it didn't work out for us. After a week of dealing with a screaming, kicking, non-nursing newborn who was losing weight faster than Jessica Simpson after her last pregnancy, I was done. I just couldn't take it anymore. I would lay awake in bed with the most profound sense of failure I had ever felt. Every time I tried to nurse Evie I would end up in tears, either from pain or sheer frustration. We tried everything, and I do mean everything, spending hundreds of dollars on various contraptions and consultants. Finally, we made the decision to pump and feed her a bottle. Although at the time I felt like a failure and it was the last thing I wanted to do, I can see now that God had a plan all along. So began my journey of pumping...

Josh and I found this gas station a couple weeks ago and we had to snap a picture because it so accurately sums up my life for the past few months. I remember feeling like I was basically one step up from a dairy cow. I started out pumping every 2 hours (every 3 at night), for 1/2 hour each time. I did that for about 2 months. Even when my baby was sleeping, I had to get up and pump in the middle of the night. Sometimes it was Pump, Munch, and Cry the entire time. But I stuck it out (by God's grace!). I was just so happy to see Evie start to gain weight and be a happier baby.
        I just want to take a moment to say that FORMULA IS OK. It is not a brew concocted in the deepest pit of Hades by the devil himself. It is, in fact, a God-given gift for babies who would not otherwise survive. I'm all for babies who are alive, I'm assuming that most people are. We supplemented with formula for a few weeks while my supply was low, even though the numerous lactation consultants we saw advised us to buy donor breastmilk. I'm convinced that most lactation consultants have never had to buy donor breastmilk. Do you know how expensive that stuff is? Sorry, we couldn't afford that, we had just had a baby for pete's sake.
       Once I started to be more open with people about our nursing troubles, I was amazed by how many other moms had gone through the same thing. I remember feeling so alone at first, and I just want other moms out there to know that you are never alone. I heard from at least 6 friends who are currently pumping and bottle feeding, or had to switch to formula. I also heard from several moms who said they had given their children formula out of necessity and those kids were doing just fine.
      Now, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm no longer pumping 7-8 times per day (down to 4), and we actually had to buy a deep freezer to store all the extra milk. So whenever I officially stop pumping, Evie will still have about 2 1/2 months beyond that of milk. I'm so glad we were able to make this work. A huge part of that happening was having Josh home with me for 6 weeks after she was born- he was such a huge help! I was pumping constantly at first, so he really took the lion's share of baby care on his shoulders. Moms who have to go it alone or have little ones to take care of on top of the baby probably would not be able to do that.
      Here's one last funny (or just ironic) fact- in the 60's when my parents were born, giving children formula was the norm. And do you know what the formula recipe was that my grandma used for her kids? Unsweetened condensed milk (from a cow) and Karo Syrup. Karo Syrup! Can you believe that? And guess what? My mom is doing just fine. She doesn't have cancer or an extra limb, and neither do her siblings.
       I hope I haven't opened Pandora's box here with this touchy subject. I think the bottom line for everyone to remember is that parenting is on a case-by-case basis. What works for one parent or child doesn't always work for another. I've learned through my experience that it's best to not question other people's decisions for their children, because they always know the situation much better than anyone else. And even if people do question you, you can rest assured knowing that God entrusted this child/children to YOU and no one else, because He knew that you would be the best fit!

Christmas Home Tour

I really wanted to get this post up before Christmas, but it just didn't happen this year! However, I tend to leave my decorations up at least until after New Years, so it still counts, right?

This year, we kept our Christmas decorations really simple. And oddly enough, I think it's been my favorite year yet! 

One of my favorite "decorations" was this tray that is on our coffee table. I picked up the sparkly pinecones last year at an after-Christmas sale, and the milk-glass is from a thrift store. The mercury glass votives were my one "extravagant" purchase this year (they were $1.50 each at Target!). 

This year, we used both silver and gold ornaments on our tree. I love how it turned out! I have done silver only and gold only in the past, but together they are even more marvelous. 

Our tree this year was fake, but I loved not having to untangle lights (pre-lit!) and vacuum up pine needles all through the holidays. 

Here's the tree in natural light (don't we all look better in natural light?). Ain't she purdy? 

My green glass trees are sitting atop the record player, with some festive berries snuggled underneath. 

Our dining room table was kept simple with some fresh pine boughs, a big candle and some pinecones. 

I love this handmade "Noel" sign that we inherited from Josh's parents. It adds just the right amount of kitschy-ness I think! 

 

And here it is, the one and only project that I undertook this year for Christmas decor. It's a bottle brush tree in a Ball jar! Tutorial to come... (just kidding). 

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! We sure did, even with a cranky, teething baby. Evie's first Christmas will definitely be remembered for years to come! Happy New Year! 

Christmas is Still Happening Here!

It's sometimes hard to believe that Christmas preparations still happen, even when there is no blog post to prove it, so I've pulled together a few photos from my phone for posterity.

We did go out to the Christmas tree farm with my parents to cut down their tree, see? Evie even came with us, all snuggled up on her daddy's chest in the baby bjorn.

We attempted a family portrait. 

We attempted another family portrait. 

We managed to pull the tree on a sled to our car, and it only fell off 5 times! 

Then Josh and I went home and set up our fake, pre-lit tree (which I find myself loving even more since we had an 11-foot-tall real tree last year!)

You may have noticed in the background one of our recent projects- we covered up the railing in the living room with some board-and-batten. It started out as a child-proofing project, but of course we had to make it pretty! I will probably do a before-and-after post at some point, but here's another angle of it. I love it!

I even managed to do some decorating besides the tree. I love this musical tray that I made last year, and it fit perfectly with some new tealight holders from Target, and sparkly pinecones.

I must have sparkly pinecones in my Christmas decor. 

I'm even getting festive myself and wearing a red hat + red lipstick most days. It's amazing how a quick swipe of apple-red lipstick can make even a new mom feel pulled together. 

This year, Christmas is so different and wonderful. Evie is still too little to truly understand the wonderfulness of Christmas, but I'm enjoying nonetheless watching her experience it for the first time. From her wide-eyed gazes at the Christmas tree to her unhappy response to a santa hat, it's truly a joy to behold. 

Rest

I have to be honest with you- rest isn't something that is really happening in our corner of the world these days. Between late night feedings and scrambling around to get things done during those few-and-far-between daytime naps, we are constantly going. It's amazing how busy life can get even when you are trying to cut back. Especially with a baby. I'm lucky if I can shower and do the dishes, let alone workout, clean the house, do lesson plans, and have a social life.

But this morning, Evie went back to bed after waking up at 6:30 for her morning feeding. Oh, the joy that filled my heart. I slept for a bit longer, then got up and made myself a cup of coffee (seriously, the nectar of the gods) and read my Bible for a while. I peeked in on her a while later and she was still blissfully asleep (see photo above). So I actually have a rare moment to blog... what? Blog? What is that???

Somehow, even in the midst of this chaos, God is teaching me about rest. He's teaching me about letting go of things that get in the way of rest- my need for a spotlessly clean house, the flawed notion that dinner should be on the table by the time my husband gets home, my desire to be fit and thin and bikini-ready again, this pervasive and ugly feeling that our life should somehow look perfect on the outside. In reality, I think the rest He is calling me to is more mental than physical. I still have to get up at 3:30 am when my baby girl needs food, but I can let go of the fact that I didn't finish everything I wanted to do yesterday. I may have to perform what should be simple and mundane tasks with one hand while bouncing a baby on my hip, but I can accept the fact that my house is going to be a little on the messy side for a while. Rest.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare at my baby and wonder at the fact that she's still asleep right now...