Thursday, January 31, 2013
Becoming a Mom
Before I had Evie, I had lots of preconceived notions about what it meant to be a mom. Or, maybe I should say, preconceived fears. Would I ever have time to myself again? Would my body ever feel normal? Would I become freakishly obsessed with germs? Would I lose friends after I joined the Mom ranks?
Most of my fears were pretty selfish, in fact. I was so afraid that all the difficult things would outweigh the good things, and my life would be essentially forfeit. I would be stuck at home, wearing sweats, changing poopy diapers, and mourning my once dazzling existence (ok, maybe not dazzling, but you get the picture). I also feared that I just wouldn't be a good mom.
I'm so thankful to say that most of my fears were unfounded. My life has changed, but it has changed for the better. Becoming a mom has allowed me to grow and mature in ways that I probably would not have otherwise. It's a practical way to put someone else's needs above your own, and when that someone is a sweet little baby, it's just all the more delightful.
Sure, I do a lot more laundry than I used to, and a lot of days Evie and I just stay at home. But I feel a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment in life, and every day that I wake up to her sweet smile I am blessed. On the "selfish" side of things, I'm happy to say that my feet went back to their normal size (or at least pretty close), and I've been able to finally fit into most of my pre-pregnancy clothes (thanks due in part to Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred). My hips a little shapelier than they were before, and I have a stretch mark by my belly button, but I welcome those changes with open arms. To me, they signify the life that I was able to bring into this world, and they are beautiful.
I don't feel "normal" like I had hoped I would. No, it's even better than that. I feel like a new person.