Wednesday, April 14, 2010

On Being a Housewife




My subtitle for this blog is “Tales of an Aspiring Housewife.” I was thinking about that the other day, and feeling like maybe I should explain the meaning behind that phrase. You see, I am not really a housewife in the truest sense of the word. Being a housewife implies that you are not employed outside of the home, that your “job” is taking care of a household, your spouse, and possibly a family. Some people would argue that “housewives” are out of fashion; the modern woman can balance a career and family effortlessly. Sometimes, the word is even met with derision as people formulate their own opinions and scornfully synonimize it with laziness. Personally, I think that women everywhere are wondering why their full-time careers and day-care supported lifestyles are unfulfilling. I’m certainly not saying that all women should quit their jobs and be home full-time with their children, but I am suggesting that maybe, for some of us, the dreams of getting women out of the kitchen and into the workforce have gone too far.



You may wonder what I back up my statements with. The truth is, I don’t have charts and statistics to refer you to. What I know is solely based on interactions with other women, and personal experience. I work a full-time job. I spend 50 hours a week are driving, working, and frankly, wishing I am somewhere else. When I get home, my husband takes priority, and my household is usually in need of more attention than I can give. As much as I would like to love my job, for me it has always been just a way to earn a living. I graduated from college with a degree in music- vocal performance to be specific. My early years were spent practicing piano and planning to be a famous pianist like my Grandfather. Then I went to college and discovered a love for singing and changed my focus to a career in opera. With the support of my college faculty, after graduating I planned to throw myself into a graduate degree in Opera, and see where that would take me. But (there’s always a big but isn’t there!) that was not God’s plan for me.



Instead, He led me to a decision to take a couple of years off and pay down some of my student loans. Then, He led me to a full-time job with the government (the best paying option that I found), where I met and started dating an amazing man named… Josh. 2 years later, I am happily married and my career in opera is far removed from daily thoughts.



I wrote a while ago about the hardship of letting go of dreams, so I won’t delve into that here. Suffice to say, I no longer have a desire to pursue that kind of lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, I still love singing and I’m actually planning a career move into that direction soon. But it won’t involve bright lights, stage makeup, and tiny microphones taped to my forehead. As much as I love performing, that lifestyle just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. The kind of satisfaction that I get from cooking a meal for my husband, taking care of my little home, and creating a peaceful, beautiful environment just can’t be matched by hours spent in a practice room, or even getting on a stage and singing my heart out. Instead, I find myself longing to be first and foremost a wife, a caretaker, and hopefully someday soon, a mother.



What does my ideal Inner Housewife look like? Well, she certainly doesn’t lounge around in sweats, watching Soap Operas and eating Bon-Bons all day, because only someone like Zsa Zsa Gabor could find fullfillment in that kind of lifestyle. She doesn’t wear frilly aprons and kitten heels while she cooks meatloaf and cleans, and she doesn’t immediately rub her husband’s feet when he gets home from work (unless he asks nicely and then returns the favor!).



Maybe she works 10 hours or so a week doing something she loves, and then has time to spend playing with her children and cooking delicious meals. Maybe she volunteers at a women’s shelter one day a week, or devotes time to blogging and maintaining relationships with friends and family.



One thing I do know for sure, is that whatever she does is glorifying to the God who made her. So that’s why I’m an “Aspiring Housewife.” I’m aspiring to be more than just a federal employee, and a day-care mom. I’m aspiring to be a creative, organized, loving, family-oriented, innovative, hard-working Housewife. And I’m really glad that you are coming along for the journey…

As always, I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts. Have you felt these same feelings? Do you aspire to be a modern Housewife? Or if you already are, what led you to that decision?

12 comments:

  1. Michela, I am so glad you wrote to me. It is so nice to meet you! I graduated from Westminster CHoir College with my degree in Music Ed. I ended up teaching 4th and 5th grade elementary at a local Christian school for 10 years before staying home with our daughter. So it looks like we have more in common than our faith.

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  2. Wow, that's amazing! We do have a lot in common then. Sometimes I find myself wishing I had just gotten a music ed degree- then at least I could have gotten a job teaching! I'm so glad you came by, and look forward to getting to know you better!

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  3. I love your thoughts on this topic. I feel similarly. I love the time I spend at home with my husband and my time in the working world is just a way to make a living. I hope to some day be able to stay home with future children and make that my full time job and photography my part time gig for extra moolah. We'll see where God leads in the future because as you said, you just never know what His plans are!

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  4. P.S. Chandelier pics are in your inbox! :)

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  5. This is something I struggle with as well. I love my school librarian job, but during the summers I REALLY cherish the time home with my husband. ALthough I think of my job as a minisitry, I know when we have kids it's going to take a lot of thought and prayer to decided what direction to take.

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  6. Thanks for your thoughts ladies. It's just good to know that other people feel the same way.

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  7. I love this post! And I agree with it completely! I wouldn't trade what I do for any other job on the planet! But I will be the first to admit that is definitely one tough job (especially if you plan on having more than the average 2.5 children) ^_^ It is so REWARDING, though. My home is my no. 1 ministry. It's how I serve my Lord.

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  8. Thanks Joye~ you are so right! Kids are definitely not easy (and I'm sure I don't know the half of it yet!), but being a home-maker is so much more fulfulling. Thanks for the input!

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  9. Michela, God has you right where he wants you! I love the honesty in your blog and really enjoy getting to know you! You are an awesome woman of God, and He has great plans for you!

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  10. Love this post, my thoughts exactly!! When I first got married, I really thought I wanted to be a wife with a full time job and even when the kids came, I would still have a full time job and just put them in daycare. My feelings have shifted definitely since then, the Lord has given me a huge love of taking care of our little house, making my husband happy and fulfilled, and doing little things that are housewifely. :) I get a huge satisfaction out of all those things like I never did before - now I will probably always have a part time job teaching music out of my home, but to me that's not really a career outside of my home. But like you, I definitely will want to have a life outside the home as well, volunteering, doing something I love like singing and theater, but still finding great satisfaction out of being a modern housewife.

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  11. This is a great post! I can totally relate. I hope that someday I will be able to stay home with my kiddos. I have so many student loans to pay back and a useless degree...so it'll be a while, but especially now that I am pregnant it definitely hits home in a different way than ever before! I hate that things got so out of control with the whole "working woman" thing. I mean it's great to have that option...but I'd really rather be home with the baby. Unfortunately I didn't always know that. Great post!

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  12. This was an amazing post. I *just now* figured out that my role at home as a stay at home mom is a BLESSING to my family. It was hard for me to let go of my career dream, because that is how girls are raised these days! Thank you for writing on this topic :)

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